Helping Your Family Adjust When Moving Internationally to the US
Relocating your family internationally to the US is more than a change of address, it’s the start of a whole new chapter. For kids, that chapter often comes with excitement and nerves in equal measure: new schools, different accents, unfamiliar traditions, and a social landscape that can feel daunting. For spouses and partners, it can mean reinventing community, career, and daily life from scratch.
The good news? With the right preparation and mindset, the move can be less about loss and more about opportunity. While there’s no “one-size-fits-all” playbook- every child, age, and family dynamic is different - here are practical ways to support your children and your partner through the transition, along with some real-life lessons from our own move from London to Austin.
Preparing Before the Move: Reducing Anxiety Early
- Open conversations: Be honest about why you’re moving and what it might feel like. Kids cope best when they know what to expect.
- Involve them in decisions: Let them help decorate their new room or research fun things to do in the new city.
- Frame it as an adventure: Highlight what’s exciting - new friends, different sports, even the novelty of yellow school buses (these are real – not just in the movies.)
Our Experience:
Before we moved, we took a vacation to Austin with our kids and their grandpa. We toured schools, looked at homes, and, most importantly, had fun together. This gave us shared memories to draw on later: “Remember how much fun we had at that park?” That made the move feel like something to look forward to rather than fear. We also made sure their new bedrooms were filled with familiar possessions from day one, comfort in the middle of change.
Adjusting to School Life in the US
- Different routines: US schools often emphasize extracurriculars, daily pledges, and after-school activities.
- Uniforms vs. dress codes: Many schools don’t use uniforms. That can feel liberating - or stressful - so help kids plan what to wear.
- Extracurriculars as entry points: Sports, music, and clubs are the fastest way to make new friends.
OurExperience:
We timed our relocation so the kids went straight into school. They made friends quickly, and within six weeks their accents had shifted! We threw ourselves into new sports and activities that didn’t exist in our UK lives. My wife became deeply involved in the school too, starting as a volunteer, later serving on an education foundation board, and eventually becoming Executive Director of the district’s education foundation. (Possibly an over correction, but it worked out brilliantly 😊).
Cultural Adaptation: Bridging the UK–US Gap
Even though the UK and US share a language, the differences are bigger than you’d expect:
- Language quirks: “Football” becomes “soccer,” trousers become “pants,” and spelling shifts (color vs. colour). Make it fun with a family “translation game.”
- Social style: US kids are often more outgoing and confident in public speaking. Reassure quieter children that their style is valid while helping them practice self-introductions.
- Celebrations & traditions: From Halloween and Thanksgiving to pep rallies and school dances, the calendar is different. Encourage kids to join in, even if it feels strange at first.
- Sports culture: American football, baseball, and basketball dominate. Even casual interest can spark playground conversations.
Our Experience:
Our daughter threw herself into the new culture immediately. Our son, quieter by nature, found his way through sports. We made it a family game for the kids to “teach us” about American culture, often laughing at our British expressions and “incorrect” pronunciation along the way. I learned American football with my son, and clarinet with my daughter in the school band. Halloween quickly became a family favorite. I’ve seen families try to hold back and live separately from the culture they move into, we chose to go all in. We haven’t forgotten where we came from, but we’ve embraced where we are.
Mental and Emotional Adjustments for Kids
- Identity shifts: Kids may feel “different” because of their accent or background. Celebrate their UK roots while encouraging curiosity about American life.
- Homesickness: Video calls with UK friends and family help maintain ties.
- Building resilience: Acknowledge frustration and model problem-solving (like explaining a UK phrase to American friends).
- Patience: Adjustment takes months, not days. Remind kids they’re not alone.
- Mental health check-ins: Watch for mood or sleep changes. Don’t hesitate to use school counselors or local support.
Our Experience:
Our kids were 7 and 4 when we moved, old enough to be excited but young enough that their identities weren’t fully set. That made the transition smoother. Our daughter kept in touch with UK friends online, while our son was too young to worry. Some family members were supportive, others less so. The reality: not every relationship will stay the same, and not every part of the move will be easy.
Supporting Your Spouse or Partner
Children aren’t the only ones who face challenges during relocation. A spouse, especially one not tied directly to the work assignment or business, often carries the emotional weight of rebuilding family life abroad.
- Acknowledge their role: They’re often managing schools, home, and day-to-day family integration. Recognition matters.
- Social integration: Expat groups, volunteering, or local community involvement can build friendships.
- Career considerations: Explore study, part-time roles, or professional networks if a career pause is required.
- Shared adventures: Treat the move as a family journey, not just a work posting.
- Check in often: Open conversations prevent isolation.
Our Experience:
I’m fortunate that my wife and I were fully aligned from the start. We weren’t “trying it out.” We moved to live, not just to work, and there was no back-up plan to return. That clarity shaped our approach and helped us go all in. My view: if you dip your toe into a move this big, it’s far more likely to fail.
Keeping Familiarity While Embracing Change
- Maintain family rituals: Sunday roasts, bedtime stories, family dinners - consistency creates stability.
- Create comfort zones: Bring books, toys, or bedding from home.
- Blend cultures: Celebrate both UK and US traditions to create something unique.
Our Experience:
We kept English snacks and traditions alive, crisps like Skips and Quavers, biscuits like Jammie Dodgers, Scotch eggs, and sausage rolls. My wife still makes Beef Wellington and Pavlova on special occasions, which our American friends now request! Sharing these foods gave us comfort and became a way to connect with new friends.
Final Thoughts
Relocating internationally isn’t just a logistical exercise; it’s an emotional journey. Kids, spouses, and parents all go through their own adjustment curve. There will be homesickness, culture shocks, and difficult days. But with openness, shared commitment, and a willingness to embrace your new culture, your family can build a life that blends the best of both worlds.
If you’re moving while also launching or scaling a business, communication with your partner becomes even more critical. There will be long hours and intense work periods, work-life balance may not always be possible. Together, decide which family moments are non-negotiable, and make them a priority. Without that balance, the risk is failing both at home and at work.
Final Tip: After we settled, we added a new family member, a Cockerpoo puppy called Mable. While my daughter promised to walk her and pick up after her, that responsibility somehow shifted to my wife and me! Still, she’s been the perfect addition to our Anglo-American family. Daily walks with Mable have become my best tool for finding calm in the middle of everything else. A reminder that sometimes, the simplest rituals make the biggest difference.
Feel free to get in touch with any questions with adrian.kinnersley@in2america.com
